Hard Lessons

Well, it's been another hard week. I can't wait to write that it's been an easy week. I have 3 more weeks until I go back to work at least part time, so I really needed to start getting Tennysen on a routine. Yesterday afternoon, I got up the nerve to put her in her crib for a nap.

Up until yesterday, I would hold her or put her in her swing and let her sleep. She did not like being in her crib, and that was so hard for me. I needed her to sleep though because she was so exhausted. She had been fussy all morning and hadn't slept much--rocking her hadn't helped, her swing that ALWAYS works wasn't working, she wasn't hungry, her diaper wasn't dirty, she wasn't running a temperature...I was out of ideas, so it was time to start teaching her how to put herself to sleep. By the way, I had this same kind of day on Tuesday and I felt like I was losing my mind. Something had to give.

She stayed in her crib for 2 hours. She honestly didn't really cry that much. It was a lot of grunting and just some crying. I know from the video monitor that she did sleep some, but when it was time for her to eat again and I went in to pick her up, I just started crying. I was afraid she felt abandoned for those 2 hours alone in her crib by herself. Looking at her sweet little face, I felt so much shame!

Thank goodness for friends and family...who aren't hormonal. I had some great encouragers yesterday who talked me through it, and even though it doesn't make it easy, I know I've got to keep doing this. Good sleep is vital for my little Tennysen, and when she can't choose sleep on her own and she's fighting it, I've got to help her. Hopefully these hard lessons for mom and baby will pay off in the very near future--predictable nap times, a well-rested baby, and a sane mommy.

So she's in her crib now and she's doing great...not asleep yet, but not fussing. Hopefully it'll be a better day today. Here's our precious girl:

She loves her activity gym...for a few minutes at a time at least. 

This was after her morning feeding. She was exhausted from her tough day yesterday. Side note: She does actually wear clothes. Pictures may not often portray that. A Tennysen tidbit: She's super hot-natured, so she's often only sporting a diaper.